Beyond Parody
That was Jim Geraghty's take on John Kerry's latest flip-flop.
Personally, I don't much care about Lurch anymore. He may consider himself an important national figure and probably believes he'll get another crack at the White House in 2008, but nobody else does.
But for those who still manage to find entertainment in the Boston Balker's nausea-inducing rhetorical gyrations, enjoy:
Senator John Kerry reiterated his pledge on Monday to sign the form that would allow the government to release all his military records, but said he wanted to know exactly what was in his file before doing so."
I have a stack of different material they sent me," Kerry told radio host Don Imus. "Every time they send me something I want to know what they sent me."
"I'll get it done," Kerry insisted in the next breath.
Last week the 2008 presidential hopeful suggested he wanted to review his full Navy file to make sure of "what is in the record and what isn't in the record" before signing Form 180.
"I'm going to sit down with them and make sure that they are clear and I am clear as to what is in the record and what isn't in the record and we'll put it out," he told "Meet the Press" host Tim Russert.
Kerry did not explain his reference to "what isn't in the record," though questions arose late in the campaign about why he received his honorable discharge six years after leaving the service.
Pressed earlier today on when he intended to sign Form 180, Kerry said only, "Shortly."
The full exchange went like this:
IMUS: You also told Tim that you would sign Form 180 releasing all of your military records. Have you done that?
KERRY: Yeah. We're gonna do that. Absolutely, I will. But listen, I also think ...
IMUS: When are you going to do that?
KERRY: As soon as I get, as required by the military, precisely ...
IMUS: Why don't you do it today?
KERRY; Because I have a stack of different material they sent me. Every time they send me something I want to know what they sent me. I'll get it done. ...
IMUS: By noon today?
KERRY: No. But shortly. [END OF EXCERPT]
Kind of like "later." Usually it means "never." And given that Spinchter-Mouth has had thirty years to release his military records, what is there to suggest, much less convince, that he's going to do so now when he wouldn't during last year's campaign, when it presumably would have mattered?
Hasn't it always been pretty obvious that he has much to hide in those records, and much fudging and embellishment room to be gained from keeping them beyond public reach? And since he does still harbor presidential ambitions, doesn't that argue for him not releasing them?
Good Lord, can you imagine what his press conferences and SOTUAs would have been like? After four years of that droning dissembling, no American would have a hair left on his/her head because we'd have all scratched them off trying to figure out what the hell he'd been saying.
You know what Kerry reminds me of more than anything else? My ten-year-old son, coming up with excuses for ducking his homework.
"Son, have you done your homework?"
"Yeah, Dad. I'm gonna do that. Absolutely, I will. But listen, I also think ...
"When are you going to do it?"
"As soon as I get, as required by my teacher, precisely ..."
"Why don't you do it today?"
"Because I have a stack of different material she gave me. Every time she gives me something I want to know what she's given me. I'll get it done."
"By noon today?"
"No. But shortly."
This is when I'd go for the ruler.
Personally, I don't much care about Lurch anymore. He may consider himself an important national figure and probably believes he'll get another crack at the White House in 2008, but nobody else does.
But for those who still manage to find entertainment in the Boston Balker's nausea-inducing rhetorical gyrations, enjoy:
Senator John Kerry reiterated his pledge on Monday to sign the form that would allow the government to release all his military records, but said he wanted to know exactly what was in his file before doing so."
I have a stack of different material they sent me," Kerry told radio host Don Imus. "Every time they send me something I want to know what they sent me."
"I'll get it done," Kerry insisted in the next breath.
Last week the 2008 presidential hopeful suggested he wanted to review his full Navy file to make sure of "what is in the record and what isn't in the record" before signing Form 180.
"I'm going to sit down with them and make sure that they are clear and I am clear as to what is in the record and what isn't in the record and we'll put it out," he told "Meet the Press" host Tim Russert.
Kerry did not explain his reference to "what isn't in the record," though questions arose late in the campaign about why he received his honorable discharge six years after leaving the service.
Pressed earlier today on when he intended to sign Form 180, Kerry said only, "Shortly."
The full exchange went like this:
IMUS: You also told Tim that you would sign Form 180 releasing all of your military records. Have you done that?
KERRY: Yeah. We're gonna do that. Absolutely, I will. But listen, I also think ...
IMUS: When are you going to do that?
KERRY: As soon as I get, as required by the military, precisely ...
IMUS: Why don't you do it today?
KERRY; Because I have a stack of different material they sent me. Every time they send me something I want to know what they sent me. I'll get it done. ...
IMUS: By noon today?
KERRY: No. But shortly. [END OF EXCERPT]
Kind of like "later." Usually it means "never." And given that Spinchter-Mouth has had thirty years to release his military records, what is there to suggest, much less convince, that he's going to do so now when he wouldn't during last year's campaign, when it presumably would have mattered?
Hasn't it always been pretty obvious that he has much to hide in those records, and much fudging and embellishment room to be gained from keeping them beyond public reach? And since he does still harbor presidential ambitions, doesn't that argue for him not releasing them?
Good Lord, can you imagine what his press conferences and SOTUAs would have been like? After four years of that droning dissembling, no American would have a hair left on his/her head because we'd have all scratched them off trying to figure out what the hell he'd been saying.
You know what Kerry reminds me of more than anything else? My ten-year-old son, coming up with excuses for ducking his homework.
"Son, have you done your homework?"
"Yeah, Dad. I'm gonna do that. Absolutely, I will. But listen, I also think ...
"When are you going to do it?"
"As soon as I get, as required by my teacher, precisely ..."
"Why don't you do it today?"
"Because I have a stack of different material she gave me. Every time she gives me something I want to know what she's given me. I'll get it done."
"By noon today?"
"No. But shortly."
This is when I'd go for the ruler.
posted by JASmius at 3:33 PM
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