Friday, August 10, 2007

How Many Hooks Will It Take?

Almost four decades ago Andy Warhol said, "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes." For what it's worth, our traffic numbers here at HS appear to demonstrate that mine and Jen's quarter-hour installments have evidently gotten lost in the mail.

Or maybe the endlessly grasping Cindy Sheehan, whose career as a "grieving mother" using her deceased serviceman son on a perpetual anti-war Weekend At Bernie's tour closed off Broadway what seems like years ago, simply intercepted them before we even knew they were on the way:
Antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan, who gained international fame by camping outside President Bush's Texas ranch to protest the war in Iraq, announced Thursday that she would challenge House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for her seat in Congress.
This would be after Wonder Woman's electoral conquest of Hillary Clinton in the New York senate race last cycle, no? What? [picture Bob Newhart's voice] What's that again? Cindy didn't defeat Hillary, ruining the Chappaqua Thigh Mistress' master plan for becoming dictatrix of America and ruling the world? She's not attempting to become the first person in American political history to occupy seats in both houses of Congress from states on opposite coasts at the same time? She doesn't even own a single pink pantsuit?

Okay, then, well, if she couldn't unseat Mrs. Clinton, why does Cindy feel compelled to topple Crazy Nancy?

"The country is ripe for a change," said Sheehan, citing her son's death in Iraq in 2004 as inspiration for her long-shot bid to unseat the first female speaker in history. ...

Sheehan admitted she has no funds for a campaign, but planned to immediately get started raising money. Without giving further specifics, Sheehan said she wouldn't accept money from corporations and would run on a platform of universal health care. Sheehan said she also wants to make college affordable and improve ethics in the legislative and executive branches.
Um, wouldn't that make Cindy as superfluous in this "race" as a stationary bicycle at Michael Moore's house? Is her sense of aesthetics so twisted that she believes replacing that loony old hag with the wrinkled cleavage with a woman so stomach-foldingly ugly she makes the late Bella Abzug look like Jessica Alba (now) will be an improvement in the group congressional photo? Or is it that the Speakerette hasn't yet succeeded in forcing an American defeat in the Middle East, and Cindy is "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore"?

Her fellow nutters ought to take a good, long look (figuratively speaking, of course) at Mother Sheehan, for she represents the oblivion to which they'll be consigning themselves if they "go into business for themselves" next year.