Boston Bacchanalia: Night #2
Well, anybody looking for an improvement of night #2 over night #1 – “improvement” being defined as “more like the positive, uplifting Kerryfest” this Extreme-O-Rama is supposed to be – was doomed to disappointment. Though for us other-minded folks, the entertainment factor got better and better.
For instance, they let Ted Kennedy speak. Without a net. Drunker than a skunk. It was long, rambling, stumbling, bumbling, dreary, rabidly Bushophobic and devoid of anything that could be construed as edifying to the “presumptive” nominee. Some have even suggested that it was substantially ripped off from Dick Cheney’s 2000 veep acceptance speech. But that speculation was interrupted by Teddy belching loudly, emitting a long streamer of drool, and pancaking face-first on the podium.
After security dragged the Massachusetts Manatee off-stage feet-first with a golf cart, out came former House Minority leader (his claim to infamy) Dick Les Gephardt, whose role it apparently was to ensure that the FleetCenter crowd would be sleeping it off right alongside ol’ Tyrannosaurus Sex.
Who else could follow him but his upper chamber counterpart, Tom Daschle, whose primary concern was to schedule his address for the time slot in which nobody from South Dakota would be watching? Observed David Frum:
Howie Dean looked to have been doped up with the same depressants as Al Gore appeared to be on Monday night. Kind of like one of his standard stump speeches replayed at 33 1/3 speed (that means reeeeaaal slooooow, in case anybody was wondering).
Barack Obama, the next U.S. Senator from Illinois, is the next Martin Luther King; or at the very least, the black Bill Clinton (except, so far as I know, with a closed zipper). I say this because those who actually know him describe him as being “to the left of Mae Tse Tung,” and yet he employed soaring, dare I say it, Reaganian rhetoric about American greatness and opportunity, and eviscerated the multi-cultural, hyper-hyphenated mania of his party by speaking of “one America” instead of the angry, aggrieved, balkanized mess that is the guttural dream of hustlers and shakedown artists like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and their homies at the NAACP. I don’t know if he’s the “rising star” of punditocratic coronation – remember, they said the same thing about Howard Ford four years ago – but if his apparent political skills can insulate him from being assimilated into the Black Klan, he may well be, as the aforementioned Mr. Frum opines, the next vice president of the United States.
Ron Reagan’s dishonest address, which, like his whole junket at this Extremoganza, reminds one of a sort of political equivalent of the movie Weekend at Bernie’s, served to reinforce the impression that the Gipper and Nancy should have made one exception to their opposition to abortion. Is that harsh? Well, so is figuratively dragging around your famous father’s corpse as a prop for causes he detested instead of being with the rest of your family to greet the arrival in port (at San Diego) of the USS Ronald Reagan.
I hope somebody shoves a serpent’s tooth up his ass.
For instance, they let Ted Kennedy speak. Without a net. Drunker than a skunk. It was long, rambling, stumbling, bumbling, dreary, rabidly Bushophobic and devoid of anything that could be construed as edifying to the “presumptive” nominee. Some have even suggested that it was substantially ripped off from Dick Cheney’s 2000 veep acceptance speech. But that speculation was interrupted by Teddy belching loudly, emitting a long streamer of drool, and pancaking face-first on the podium.
After security dragged the Massachusetts Manatee off-stage feet-first with a golf cart, out came former House Minority leader (his claim to infamy) Dick Les Gephardt, whose role it apparently was to ensure that the FleetCenter crowd would be sleeping it off right alongside ol’ Tyrannosaurus Sex.
Who else could follow him but his upper chamber counterpart, Tom Daschle, whose primary concern was to schedule his address for the time slot in which nobody from South Dakota would be watching? Observed David Frum:
I note though that former McGovern aide Daschle now says that 'answering the call' during Vietnam was 'doing the right thing.' You wonder where these proud patriots were in 1992, when Bill Clinton was running against Navy flier and war hero George HW Bush.
Howie Dean looked to have been doped up with the same depressants as Al Gore appeared to be on Monday night. Kind of like one of his standard stump speeches replayed at 33 1/3 speed (that means reeeeaaal slooooow, in case anybody was wondering).
Barack Obama, the next U.S. Senator from Illinois, is the next Martin Luther King; or at the very least, the black Bill Clinton (except, so far as I know, with a closed zipper). I say this because those who actually know him describe him as being “to the left of Mae Tse Tung,” and yet he employed soaring, dare I say it, Reaganian rhetoric about American greatness and opportunity, and eviscerated the multi-cultural, hyper-hyphenated mania of his party by speaking of “one America” instead of the angry, aggrieved, balkanized mess that is the guttural dream of hustlers and shakedown artists like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and their homies at the NAACP. I don’t know if he’s the “rising star” of punditocratic coronation – remember, they said the same thing about Howard Ford four years ago – but if his apparent political skills can insulate him from being assimilated into the Black Klan, he may well be, as the aforementioned Mr. Frum opines, the next vice president of the United States.
Ron Reagan’s dishonest address, which, like his whole junket at this Extremoganza, reminds one of a sort of political equivalent of the movie Weekend at Bernie’s, served to reinforce the impression that the Gipper and Nancy should have made one exception to their opposition to abortion. Is that harsh? Well, so is figuratively dragging around your famous father’s corpse as a prop for causes he detested instead of being with the rest of your family to greet the arrival in port (at San Diego) of the USS Ronald Reagan.
I hope somebody shoves a serpent’s tooth up his ass.
posted by JASmius at 11:18 PM
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