Zsa-Zsa Does Wendy's

The Kerry campaign briefly considered sending Teraaaaaaayza to visit the New York Stock Exchange, as First Lady Laura Bush just did, but changed their minds after her “shove it” antics of last week. Said an advance staffer, “We nixed it when we realized she might actually have to interact with real people in an unstaged event. It isn't something we're looking to do given the beating we've taken over the convention speech."

That and “shove it” weren’t the half of it. Zsa Zsa also claimed that a cookie recipe submitted under her name to a "first lady bake off" contest organized by a national magazine was sent in by a possible political enemy. This is approaching Leona Helmsley territory.

And then there was the Fulsome Foursome’s roaringly phony trip last Friday to a Newburgh, New York, Wendy’s restaurant that almost defies description.

I’ll let the incomparable Mark Steyn take up the narrative:

So the campaign team dropped in at the burger joint. Elizabeth Edwards, the wife of Kerry's running mate, had told a heartwarming personal anecdote at the Democratic convention about how every anniversary she and her husband celebrate at Wendy's, because on their wedding night it was the only restaurant they could afford to eat at. Friday was the Edwardses' 27th anniversary, so, in keeping with tradition, they hit the Newburgh Wendy's, along with the Kerrys, campaign mascot Ben Affleck and accompanying press crew.

The photo-op didn't go smoothly. Kerry went over to say hi to some marines, who turned out to be Bush supporters and resented the interruption to their lunch. More telling was Teresa Heinz Kerry. She pointed to the picture of the bowl of chili above the clerk's head: ‘What's that?’ she asked. He explained that it was something called "chili" and she said she'd like to try a bowl. The Senator also ordered a Frosty, a chocolate dessert. They toyed with them after a fashion, and then got back on the bus.

It then emerged that Wendy's had just been an appetizer. The campaign advance team had ordered 19 five-star lunches from the Newburgh Yacht Club for Kerry, Edwards, Affleck and Co. to be served back on the bus: shrimp vindaloo, grilled diver sea scallops, prosciutto, wrapped stuffed chicken, etc.

I'm not sure whether Ben had the shrimp and Teresa the scallops, but, either way, it turns out John Edwards is right: there are two Americas - one America where folks eat at Wendy's, another America where the elite pass an amusing half-hour slumming among the folks at Wendy's and then chow down on the Newburgh Yacht Club's specials of the day. The Elizabeth Edwards anniversary-at-Wendy's shtick was meant to emphasize her husband's authenticity, but it now looks as inauthentic as Kerry's own blundering ‘regular guy’ routine.

Everybody knows that Democrats always portray Republicans as “out-of-touch rich guys,” but there has to be an upper limit to hypocrisy this egregious before it generates a backlash. And if any Dem ticket could smash through that political hymen, it’s this one.