The Massachusetts Manatee calls for his entire party to beach itself

After listening to Ted Kennedy gibber and bloviate yesterday, I have arrived at a profound conclusion: Michael Moore must be his bastard son.

You have to admit, it would explain one helluva lot.

And not just the bulbous rotundity and heinous pomposity, either. Arguably no other leftist in elected office quite reaches the rarified reaches of extremist dingbattery Michael Moore champions as Teddy Kennedy does. Similarly, nobody beats EMK for the sheer intellectual self-deception it takes to have lived through the past quarter-century, observed the inexorably rightward movement of the political landscape, experienced the concomitant decline in Democrat political fortunes, and still be unable and/or unwilling to "connect the dots."

There the fat, mouthy old scoundrel unsteadily stood, ticking right down the same old discredited lefty laundry list, demanding more of everything. More education spending, effective nationalization of the Internet, more mass transit, more environmental regulations, back-door (via the tax code) state corporatism (the original definition of fascism), paid family leave, a non-military draft (aka "compulsory volunteerism"), jacking up the minimum wage (again), higher taxes, even resurrecting ClintonCare (under the Medicare shell). He called Iraq "George Bush's Vietnam" (again). He took more shots at Alberto Gonzalez and Condolezza Rice. He touted abortion on demand and sodomarriage.

Then he took the whole moldy, stinking pile and tried to wrap it up into a gift package and put a big bow atop it labeled "values." And by that path, thundered the amphibian senator, and that path only, will the Democrat party make its comeback and win its greatest victories.

It's astounding. These people are incapable of learning from experience. It borders on figurative brain death.

I'm telling you, I couldn't make this stuff up.

But Michael Moore could. He may just have it in his blood.

As to "Tyrannosaurus Sex" referring to newly-elected Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) as "Osama bin Laden," that was probably the forth or fifth martini speaking.