High-Octane Irony

Read this blurb from Barbra Streisand's website and tell me who's trying to "control the country by fear":

Hollywood's top Democrat diva Barbra Streisand is blasting President Bush for "controlling" the nation by ginning up fears of another terrorist attack, saying the president's tactics remind her of Nazi Luftwaffe Commander Herman Goering.

In a statement posted to her website headlined, "A Country Controlled by Fear," Streisand complains:"Bush's actions remind me of Herman Goering's quote during the Nuremberg Trials, where he stated: '...it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.'"

Didn't her crowd spend the previous two years trying to scare the piss out of the American people about George Bush's supposed "Nazi" tendencies? Did it succeed?

So why is she still screeching this slander? That's an easy one - because she has nothing else to say.

Well, I take that back - I guess moving down the Nazi chain of command is meant as fresh insult. Or something. Frankly, given that Goering was a corpulent, arrogant drug addict, that would seem to make him a lot more like Ted Kennedy (booze being his abused substance of choice) than GDub. In terms of histrionic ranting, the Massachusetts Manatee is definitely a better fit.

There was nothing new about The Nose's contempt for "red"-state Americans:

The Democrat diva said that Goering's tactics, as adapted by Bush, have been extremely effective, arguing that the American people have been "unable to recognize they are being manipulated when they are paralyzed by fear because their government is constantly reminding them of an impending terrorist attack."

Yep, we're too stupid to see how dumb we were to re-elect the man that she alone possesses the brilliance and insight to recognize as the focus of evil in the modern world.

Frankly, I wish the Bush Administration would remind us "constantly" of the terrorist threat, or at least a bit more often. It seems far too many of us have drifted back to a 9/10 complacency.

Besides which, wasn't it people of Streisand's ideological persuasion who used the public hearings of the 9/11 commission a year ago to try and ream the President for not warning of the impending 9/11 attacks? Can't these people ever make up their minds?

They certainly can't let go of their well-cultivated persecution complexes:

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders," said Goering, according to the disgruntled songstress. "All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism . . . "

George W. Bush never did this. EVER. Babsy can't unearth a single, solitary quote wherein the President even hinted at such a thing. My God, even Zell Miller in his keynote address at last August's Republican National Convention went out of his way to stress that he was not questioning the patriotism of either John Kerry or his fellow Democrats.

However, there have been numerous high-profile instances over the past year alone of Democrats attacking the patriotism of President Bush and Republicans, indeed, of equating "patriotism" with doctrinaire liberalism. Just one more thrust in the etymological war.

But if you dig down far enough, you find the burr that's really riding up her saddle - and it's the one you knew was there all along:

She griped that Bush's propaganda blitzkrieg managed to obscure his terrible performance in office during last year's presidential campaign.

"Despite all of the Administration's mistakes and shortcomings, Bush was re-elected by the American people (regardless of the many accounts of possible voter fraud)," lamented Streisand.

Translation: "Damn that Bush, he's conservative, won't apologize for it, and is whipping our asses! That can't happen legitimately, so he must have cast an evil spell over 51% of the electorate. Why can't you people see that?!?!?"

Sorry to ruin your decade, Funny Girl. Consider it repayment in full for the '90s.

Oh, and you might want to replace the word "regardless" above with "despite."

Consider it a public service.