Friday, May 27, 2005

In Jersey, Honesty Is Next To Virginity

Senator Jon Korzine (D-Hoffa) kicked off his campaign for the governorship of New Jersey today with the following declaration (via GOP Bloggers):

"I promise you one thing, I'll be honest when I sit in that governor's chair," Corzine said in his speech to Democrats in Essex County...

Corzine's pledge - obviously meant to be an attention-grabbing novelty in that state - reminds me of the man who decides to patronize a "house of ill-repute" one fine Saturday night. He rings the bell on the front counter and the madam comes out to greet him.

"Good evening, sir, how may I help you?"

"I'd like a woman, please," the man replies.

"Well, you've come to the right place," the madam replies amiably. "We have a wide...um, I mean, large...er, that is to say, a diverse selection."

Chuckling in turn, the man asks, "May I see your 'menu'?"

The madam obliges him, calling out half a dozen beauties of varying heights, hair-colors, and builds for him to ogle.

After disclosing the particular skills and specialties of each, she comes to the "model" at the end of the row, who doesn't wait for an introduction.

"Hi, big boy, my name is Jonna Korzine, and I think we could have a very good time together," she purrs.

Looking her droolingly up and down, the man quite obviously concurs, but, curious about her specifics, asks, "I have no doubt, but what is it that you do best?"

"I'm a virgin," Ms. Korzine coos.

At his look of astonishiment, the madam jumps back in. "It's true, sir. Jonna here has never been touched by a man."

"You're kidding! Really?"

"Try me and find out," Ms. Korzine says with a wink.

Overwhelmed at the very concept, the man begins to stammer self-consciously. "But how did you...I mean, how is it that a girl who never has would...And I don't know if I can..."

Cutting back in again, and intent on closing the "deal," the madam says, "I assure you it's true, sir. Jonna is pure as the wind-driven snow."

"But don't take too long to decide. Jonna's shift ends at midnight, and next week it's Francine's turn to be the virgin."