Beggar Frist

I think we can all agree that this fundraising letter from Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist on behalf of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, whose coffers have apparently gotten a little lighter of late, belongs in the "Fat Chance" file (from Pekin Prattles via Captain's Quarters):

Dear Friend,

I need your help.

Yeah, you need help alright. Also a spine. And a penis. And a cure to that quasi-autism problem that's been afflicting you at inopportune moments.

I ask that you immediately make an online contribution of $25, $50, $75 or even $100 to the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC). To make a contribution on their secure server, please click here.

"Immediately"? What's the hurry, Senator? Did you think "Not One Dime" meant that we were going to send the NRSC Brinks trucks full of them instead? And that after last week's spectacular pratfall we were going to dig down even further and "give till it hurts"? Haven't you ever heard the expression "sending good money after bad"? Or do you consider your base to be even bigger suckers than certain members of your hapless caucus are?

As Senate Majority Leader, I want to assure you that, if the Democrat's campaign of judicial obstruction resumes, I will not hesitate to use the Constitutional Option. We must ensure that President Bush's qualified judicial nominees get the up-or-down votes they deserve.

The noted philosopher Scott Hall used to say, "Don't sing it, bring it." Twelve days ago you had the chance to "bring it," and you got a pie in the face instead. That tells many of us that you're not capable of "bringing" anything. Until you prove otherwise - which will now be a lot more difficult - "Not. One. Dime."

That's why we need to counter the Democrat's attacks and misinformation - including the multi-state, multi-million dollar advertising by liberal special interest groups like Moveon.org and People for the American Way.

You've had the past five months to do that. Indeed, if you had triggered the Byrd Option at the start of the current Congress, the Democrats' attacks and misinformation would be festering in futility as the President's judicial nominees would be getting up or down votes, and confirmations, like an assembly line. And the NRSC would be collectively wallowing naked in the gratitude, satisfaction, and generous donations of well-pleased supporters who appreciate the people they elect keeping their campaign promises.

I have asked the NRSC to spearhead Republican efforts to support President Bush's judicial nominees as we bring them to the floor of the Senate for fair up-or-down votes. To prepare for these battles, NRSC Chair Senator Elizabeth Dole has set a goal of raising $50,000 for the month of June from fellow online Republicans.

This money is essential to our efforts to fight back against the obstruction of Senate Democrats, led by Harry Reid, Dick Durbin, Chuck Schumer, and John Kerry. And so I urge you to support the NRSC immediately with a contribution of $25, $50, $75 or even $100.

To make a contribution, please click here. We need your support today!

As Ed Morrissey points out, why does the alleged GOP majority need more money to simply exercise their power and perogatives as the majority, break the extraconstitutional confirmation filibuster, and restore the Senate's "advice & consent" function? Didn't we cough up plenty a year ago to get them the double-digit majority they've since effectively pissed away? Sounds like a swindle to me.

June will be a defining month for President Bush and the Republican Senate Majority. I have asked the NRSC to be prepared to support President Bush's nominee if there is an appointment to the Supreme Court. We must be prepared to support the President's nominee to the Supreme Court should a vacancy open.

Blah, blah, blah. Same song & dance we've been fed all winter and spring. The expression "all hat and no cattle" springs instantly to mind.

I am counting on you to help the NRSC prepare for what is likely to be one of the toughest and most consequential debates in recent memory.

Funny, I thought we were counting on you for that.

Help us deliver on the principle of up-or-down votes for the President's judicial nominees.

You don't need our help to break seven sets of arms.

Our need is urgent and our cause is just.

And you'll get no more "help" until you first deliver what you promised.

Not. One. Dime. Same goes for every other denomination of legal tender. Even Monopoly money.

Rotsa ruck on your NRSC fundraising. You're going to need it.