All Of Liberalism In 95 Words

From looking at his picture on his byline, you would think that Richard Cohen was the result of a bizarre breeding experiment hybridizing the late Foster Brookes and one of the Keebler elves, with Les Nessman's fashion sense thrown in for a lark.

Yet, from his portentious scribblings you also see that Cohen is considered to be, and certainly does his best to put himself over as, a highbrow intellectual pontificator.

Which is what makes the first paragraph of his Washington Post column today so delectably ironic, as well as emblematic of the entire American Left:

I sometimes think the best thing that ever happened to me was, at the time, the worst: I flunked out of college. I did so for the usual reasons - painfully bored with school and distracted by life itself - and so I went to work for an insurance company while I plowed ahead at night school. From there I went into the Army, emerging with a storehouse of anecdotes. In retrospect, I learned more by failing than I ever would have by succeeding. I wish that John Roberts had a touch of my incompetence. [emphasis added]

You know, I could half-believe that George Will (Say, what is it about the WaPo and its columnists' fondness for bow-ties...?) put Cohen up to this. Like a dare - "I bet you a steak dinner that you can't come up with a hackneyed, cliched hit piece on John Roberts that is so full of whiny envymongering that you end up burying and making a complete ass of yourself without laying a glove on the Chief Justice-in-waiting."

My, how the brainiacal "best & brightest" have fallen. From Kennedy's Camelot to Clinton's Hamelot to the glorification of mediocrity and dim-wittedness. I know libs aren't bothering to conceal their true feelings these days, but who knew one of them would carry candor this far?

What's next? Cohen scoring an exclusive TV interview with the President and then saying:

"I dreamt about you last night, Mr. President...I dreamt you were a big, fat muffin. And you sang a little song...it went something like this... 'I'm a big fat muffin that has no feet, a big fat muffin that loves to eat, but most of all I'm a big fat muffin that LOVES to explode!'...and then you did!"

The WaPo headline the next day? "President Bush explodes - women and minorities hardest hit..."

[HT: CQ]