Headlines You Never Thought You'd EVER See

Okay, it's the story lead, but still:

U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy attempted to rescue six [drowning] men who had become trapped by high tide on a jetty off Hyannisport on Sunday.

The Massachusetts Democrat eventually left the rescue to Hyannis firefighters, the Cape Cod Times reported Monday.

Well, the piece goes on to say that he was walking his dogs along the shore (or they were dragging his passed-out carcass when the waves lapping the shore starting sounding like the pouring of the next round from his martini snifter and he revived), not behind the wheel with his canine companions hanging out the rear windows.

The story also mentions something about a "thirteen-foot boat," but that's probably just spin for Uncle Teddy's use of himself as a personal floatation device. Since none of the rescued anglers were female, that would explain his "leaving the rescue to Hyannis firefighters."

Hey, JPod boasted of withholding any comment. Never said I would follow suit.