Gaffes, Pratfalls, & Embarrassments
The recent gaffes and pratfalls and embarrassments of the Kerry campaign seem to be the rule rather than the exception.
Over the weekend the Kerry campaign train was rolling across Kansas to Colorado. It was supposed to make an “impromptu” stop, or at least slow down, in Lawrence, KS, home of the University of Kansas, to give at least a wave to supporters there who gathered by the tracks – like hoboes, come to think of it - as much as twenty-four hours beforehand. Unfortunately for said supporters, the Kerry express steamed right through Lawrence without slowing down, leaving them, literally, in the dust. Which, judging by a caller to Rush Limbaugh’s program on Monday who was there, left “Jayhawks for Kerry” more than a little miffed.
In typical Kerry fashion, the campaign blamed “miscommunication” for the snub – IOW, it was the engineer’s fault – and promised to send second fiddle Opie Edwards back for a make-up rally at a local Lawrence park on Sunday, which, judging from what I’ve been reading about his steady fade since the Boston Bacchanalia, probably wasn’t all that well attended.
Did I mention that this stop, or slow-down, was scheduled for the middle of the night? What candidate schedules any kind of appearance for the middle of the night, for heaven’s sake?
Once they got to New Mexico, the PR bumbling continued.
Senator Kerry and wife Teraaaaaaaaayza went into an Albuquerque, NM gift shop and he spotted a turquoise necklace he decided to buy for her. There was only one problem – he didn’t have enough money on him.
I’m not making this up. He didn’t have cash, or traveler’s checks, or a debit card, or a credit card. I guess when your personal fortune – excuse me, your wife’s personal fortune – reaches ten figures, you don’t bother with actually paying for things yourself, because you have underlings to go out and buy things for you. So Lurch did the only thing that a good liberal could do – he mooched the dough off of somebody else. In this case, “Terry Kerry,” who reportedly didn’t blink an eye, as though this sort of thing happens all the time. Which it probably does. Reminds me of when I was a boy and my mother gave me an allowance.
At least he didn’t have to buy his cowboy boots. New Mexico guv Bill Richardson provided Lurch with the goat-roper footwear so that he could play Urban Cowboy or something. Only problem was…well, let’s see if you can guess: a tall, lanky man; which means he has big feet; and he’s used to wearing Guccis and Oxfords and penny loafers; and now he was trying to, well, shoehorn those pontoons into tight leather podiafrices with pointed toes. Said a staffer to the American Spectator, “They made his feet sore, and we had to get them off."
Apparently Kerry was also going to purchase a cowboy hat, a pair of chaps, a set of spurs, and a pony to go with the boots, but horrified staffers managed to hogtie him before he could outdo the “sperm swimming up the uterus” pics.
Over the weekend the Kerry campaign train was rolling across Kansas to Colorado. It was supposed to make an “impromptu” stop, or at least slow down, in Lawrence, KS, home of the University of Kansas, to give at least a wave to supporters there who gathered by the tracks – like hoboes, come to think of it - as much as twenty-four hours beforehand. Unfortunately for said supporters, the Kerry express steamed right through Lawrence without slowing down, leaving them, literally, in the dust. Which, judging by a caller to Rush Limbaugh’s program on Monday who was there, left “Jayhawks for Kerry” more than a little miffed.
In typical Kerry fashion, the campaign blamed “miscommunication” for the snub – IOW, it was the engineer’s fault – and promised to send second fiddle Opie Edwards back for a make-up rally at a local Lawrence park on Sunday, which, judging from what I’ve been reading about his steady fade since the Boston Bacchanalia, probably wasn’t all that well attended.
Did I mention that this stop, or slow-down, was scheduled for the middle of the night? What candidate schedules any kind of appearance for the middle of the night, for heaven’s sake?
Once they got to New Mexico, the PR bumbling continued.
Senator Kerry and wife Teraaaaaaaaayza went into an Albuquerque, NM gift shop and he spotted a turquoise necklace he decided to buy for her. There was only one problem – he didn’t have enough money on him.
I’m not making this up. He didn’t have cash, or traveler’s checks, or a debit card, or a credit card. I guess when your personal fortune – excuse me, your wife’s personal fortune – reaches ten figures, you don’t bother with actually paying for things yourself, because you have underlings to go out and buy things for you. So Lurch did the only thing that a good liberal could do – he mooched the dough off of somebody else. In this case, “Terry Kerry,” who reportedly didn’t blink an eye, as though this sort of thing happens all the time. Which it probably does. Reminds me of when I was a boy and my mother gave me an allowance.
At least he didn’t have to buy his cowboy boots. New Mexico guv Bill Richardson provided Lurch with the goat-roper footwear so that he could play Urban Cowboy or something. Only problem was…well, let’s see if you can guess: a tall, lanky man; which means he has big feet; and he’s used to wearing Guccis and Oxfords and penny loafers; and now he was trying to, well, shoehorn those pontoons into tight leather podiafrices with pointed toes. Said a staffer to the American Spectator, “They made his feet sore, and we had to get them off."
Apparently Kerry was also going to purchase a cowboy hat, a pair of chaps, a set of spurs, and a pony to go with the boots, but horrified staffers managed to hogtie him before he could outdo the “sperm swimming up the uterus” pics.
posted by JASmius at 12:30 PM
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