MAKE...IT..STOP!

There has been no more egregious example of John Kerry's political penis envy of President Bush than his repeated mocking invocations of what Dubya said once with regard to the terrorists in Iraq: "Bring it on!"(Actually, Bush said "Bring them on," all of which shows that the man who could be Syracuse University's next mascot can't even ridicule competently.) This while all Mr. French had to do was sit back and let the hordes of left-wing fanatic 527s defame and libel Mr. Bush at will.

Kerry kept it whipped out until somebody, in the persons of the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth, actually started taking aim at the two walnut-sized objects immediately to the rear. And then, all of a sudden, the package shriveled, Kedwards' collective voice shot up a couple of octaves, and suddenly they were shrieking, "Make it stop!"

Then the Bush campaign finally joined the fray for real, took apart Kerry on the senate record he didn't want to talk about, and has been decimating Lurch with one haymaker ad after another. And after wasting money on a counter-ad last week whining about the "juvenile tone" of the Bush windsurfing spot, the Bushies obliged them by following it up with two more ads: "Searching," which is a fun-sized version of the "Kerry on Iraq" documentary, and "Peace and Security," which echoes Zell Miller's keynote speech reiterating Kerry's long history of anti-Intelligence and anti-defense votes and stances.

Now le gigolo américain is bleating, "Je donne vers le haut!"

"Democratic presidential challenger John Kerry appealed for an end to the TV advertising war that has marked his election battle against President George W. Bush. Kerry said the avalanche of negative television spots and attacks being shown on US screens was scaring off voters."

Yeah - scaring voters away from him. On the pathos scale, this is about two steps above, "Yes, sir, may I have another?"

"'I'm calling them "misleadisments,"' Kerry said of the adverts."

Hey - Lurch tried to make a funny! Maybe the blogosphere should take bets on how long it will take for him to blame that one on his staff.

"'It's all scare tactics ... because (Bush) has no record to run on.'"

Uh-huh - apart from the record he placed before the American people in New York City, and the second-term agenda that he put forth atop it You know, the one that has vaulted him to his current mid-to-high single-digit lead in the polls. You can't beat something with nothing, and that's one of Kerry's biggest problems right now.

But Kerry didn't stop there. He never does. The man is an unwitting masochist, and sadist to all who bear the misfortune of being within earshot of him:

"Kerry said America's middle classes had suffered from the huge tax cuts that Bush had presided over..."

Oh, yeah, my savings account found them to be just excruciating...

"'He doesn't care, he's out of touch,' said Kerry."

Sayeth the boy-toy of a billionheiress. Why does he think the windsurfing ad was so effective? Because he didn't fall off his board?

Too bad politics doesn't have a mercy rule. If diarrhea of the mouth was alcohol consumed, his staff would have confiscated his car keys by this time.

"Kerry also launched a new attack Bush's campaign in Iraq..."

As Ronald Reagan once said about Dems raising taxes, "Isn't that novel?"

"...a topic where Republicans have accused him of continually changing position."

Kind of like accusing the sun of rising every morning...

"'I've been right on Iraq all along," said Kerry.."

He was right until about May of last year. Just check out the aforementioned "Kerry on Iraq" video.

"I said yes, we ought to hold him (Saddam Hussein) accountable, but let's do it the right way, and I showed what it was, step by step."

Flip by flop. These gyrations didn't start until Howard Dean steamrolled him last fall. He drifted away from it after Dean self-combusted in order to hide his seditious pacifism behind his Vietnam studmuffin gimmick. Now he's drifted back to it in the wake of the ass-kicking he took from the SwiftVets because his base is hemorrhaging.

"And step-by-step the president chose the wrong way."

IOW, the President went into Iraq at all, since every "step" Kerry has suggested that isn't an aping of what the President is already doing - basically a bazillion variations on building a "grand alliance" of the three countries that were Saddam's biggest backers - would have delayed action indefinitely, providing the time the dictator and his UN friends needed to completely unravel the sanctions regime and restart his WMD programs. As John Kerry himself pointed out on numerous occasions back in the pre-Dean days when he was laying the groundwork for creating the appearance of national security sanity.

The more I think about it, the more his travails seem to trace back to the Dean phenomenon.

Maybe Dr. Demented was the Clintons' secret weapon.

Talk about insidious.