"I'm John Kerry, and they made me approve this honest message"

(With apologies to Berke Breathed, but it just fits so perfectly...)

Finally, a candidate every American can call his/her/its own.

He's been a handicapped unionist minority farmer;

He's been a right-wing pro-choice born-again southern elderly protectionist pacifist;

He's been a redneck northern liberal ethnic pro-life Jewish fixed-income no-nukes gun nut;

He's been an anti-war pro-military anti-gun Wendy's-dining outdoorsman Francofilic sports fanatic;

And he's never been George W. Bush.

John Kerry for President - he thinks you know he's been all of us.