Wednesday, October 20, 2004

It's Time for a Laura-Teraaaaayza Steel Cage Catfight

Pardon my "French," please, but is it not long past the point of being appropriate to refer to the imperious First Lady-wannabe as Kerry's bitch?

Listen to this towering off-hand conceit:

"Q: You'd be different from Laura Bush?

"A: Well, you know, I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job — I mean, since she's been grown up. So her experience and her validation comes from important things, but different things. And I'm older, and my validation of what I do and what I believe and my experience is a little bit bigger — because I'm older, and I've had different experiences. And it's not a criticism of her. It's just, you know, what life is about."

God-Almighty-damn. This woman makes Marie Antoinette look like Mother Teresa. She's Lovie Howell going through amphetamine withdrawal. She and her foppish, Frank Burnseque hubby are the most cartoonish representation of their party's ignorant, decades-obsolete stereotype of country-club blue-blood Republicans on the face of God's green Earth. They're trying to buy the American presidency, baby, while running on a platform of populism! They claim to speak for, care about, and represent the middle class, which they conceive of as the people they see trimming their manicured lawns with a pair of nail clippers, or scooping dead leaves out of their swimming pools at one of their mansions on intermittent visits amidst their globe-trotting and power-hunting.

But they do care about the middle class, you know - like pets.

They're such sentimental fools, aren't they?

Americans will be a different breed of fool, though, if they elect these self-styled monarchs.