Dueling Ways Of Spelling Relief

It's amazing how frequently these striking contrasts create themselves. Take these two examples of Katrina relief.

On the one hand, Wal*Mart, to the teeth-grinding consternation of its left-wing enemies, is being praised for its disaster response efforts:

Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. marshaled its massive distribution network to have its shelves stocked and its store inventories bolstered, prepared for tremendous demand for supplies needed before and after Hurricane Katrina struck.

The world's largest retailer has struggled on numerous public relations fronts in a prolonged battle with critics who say the company represents the worst of low-cost retailing. But Wal-Mart's response to the catastrophe - seen as far more effective than government efforts - has drawn praise from nearly all quarters.

Further, Wal-Mart donated millions in cash for relief and millions more worth of goods. Burt Flickinger III, managing director for Strategic Resource Group in New York, noted that Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott was groomed as a trucking manager and said Scott used his expertise to make sure the company was ready for the crisis.

"Unlike local, state and the federal government, which didn't react until days after the hurricane hit, Wal-Mart was at work around the clock before Katrina even hit land to have the stores fully stocked with full pallet positions of water, flashlights, batteries, canned soup, canned meat," Flickinger said.

Of course, on one level, what this essentially means is that the Extreme Media hates George W. Bush more than they do Wal*Mart, which is the meaning they want to attribute to "seen as far more effective than government efforts". That they still hate Wal*Mart is shown by the jab they throw in about "struggled on numerous public relations fronts in a prolonged battle with critics who say the company represents the worst of low-cost retailing," even though the thrust of this story flatly contradicts this swipe by showing, among other things, the flexibility and utility in a crisis of the retail giant's philosophy and approach. In short, the Left has so many objects of hatred that it is increasingly difficult for them to keep all of them under assault without the effort drowning in its own incoherence.

That, in turn, makes the job of us right-wing analysts almost unconscionably easy:

Planned Parenthood isn’t sending food or clothing to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, but the organization is helping evacuees get the number one necessity on its list - contraceptives, and, of course, access to abortion.

Well, of course they are. I mean, this is New Orleans, right? Bacchanalia capital of the world. The place where the world goes to get laid and play STD roulette. Even sitting on rooftops and wading through chest-deep water and floating in make-shift boats and rafts, Katrina survivors in the Big Easy can't think of anything but buggering each other 24/7. Heck, didn't Mayor Nagin and Governor Blanco engage in some tonsil hockey at one of there whiny, fingerpointing press conferences? No? Shoot, I guess you can add failure to set a proper carnal example to the list of their official derelictions.

Or so you'd think if you bought Planned Parenthood's diseased thinking. Just read the following and try not to give yourself whiplash from your head-shaking:

"As organizations like Catholic Charities and Red Cross solicit donations in order to provide basic necessities for Hurricane Katrina evacuees, Planned Parenthood is asking for money in order to hand out contraceptives and morning after pills to victims of the storm making their way to the Houston area,” reports the Culture of Life Foundation.

A link on Planned Parenthood’s Web site that says "Help with Hurricane Effort” takes visitors to a page that states: "You can help. 100% of your tax-deductible contributions will go directly to supporting our continued efforts to provide health services,” including contraceptives and an "emergency contraception kit.”

I can just see their next advertising campaign now, ripped off from the old USPS slogan: "Neither rain, nor snow, nor tornadoes, nor earthquakes, nor volcanoes, nor category five hurricanes, and especially not acts of God, shall detain us from the moral imperative of modern-day child sacrifice."

Planned Parenthood: saving future disaster victims by snuffing them in the womb.

Hey, they're no Wal*Mart, that's for sure....