Threat Of The Pink Panther

My first reaction to this comment from French President Black Jacques Chirac was uncontrollable laughter:

French president Jacques Chirac said [last] Thursday that he would use nuclear weapons against any state that served as a base for terrorists who attacked his country or even considered using weapons of mass destruction.

"The leaders of states who use terrorist means against us, as well as those who would consider using, in one way or another, weapons of mass destruction, must understand that they would lay themselves open to a firm and adapted response on our part,” Chirac said, in quotes picked up by London's Financial Times.

"This response could be a conventional one. It could also be of a different kind,” he added ominously.

Hee hee. That Jacques, what a josher. He has a second career waiting for him in Vegas after he leaves office.

C'mon, this is the president of France we're discussing. King of the EUnuchs (in his own mind, anyway). The top cheese-eating surrender monkey. Chief fellator of Middle East dictators. The anti-cowboy. Black Jacques Chirac rattling the nuclear sabre is like...well, like Jimmy Carter doing it. Whenever I think of this comment I can't help seeing Steve Martin trying to say the word "hamburger." Does anybody really take President Clouseau's bluster seriously?

Allan Topol considers it in the Washington Times this week:

So, what happened? There are two contributing factors. The first is the civil unrest in France several months ago, which involved nightly riots and a myriad of car burnings in many areas of the country. This violence had the same kind of impact upon Mr. Chirac and the French government that September 11 had upon the United States.

In his speech, Mr. Chirac bluntly declared, "In numerous countries, radical ideas are spreading, advocating a confrontation of civilizations." Mr. Chirac now understands the problem. The jihadists are attempting to capture town by town, areas within Western Europe. As one French government official put it, "This is more than a clash of civilizations. It is a cancer within our country that if unchecked will destroy all of France."

With his statements, Mr. Chirac is warning Iran and the Arab countries to desist in supporting and encouraging residents of France who launched last year's attacks and are undoubtedly planning to do far worse. His approach is to cut off terror at the source. This resembles the policy being pursued by the U.S. government, although it is hard to imagine how great the public outcry would be if President Bush threatened to use nuclear weapons.

Indeed. And why is this? Because, despite what the Democrats endlessly claim, George Bush is honest as the day is long. His words have credibility. He doesn't make empty threats (about the war, at least). That's why people believe what he says. If he made the same threat Chirac did, it would be taken seriously.

This makes all the more ironic Bush's Kerryesque deference to the Euros' ridiculous diplomatic forays against Iran's nuclear weapons program. As though, just as with his pre-Iraq war indulgence of the UN, he feels the duty to demonstrate the futility of the domestic (and international) political opposition's policy demands before pressing ahead to actually deal with the threat at hand.

And press ahead we will. The precious-time-wasting diddling of the Brits, French, and Germans has made war with Iran inevitable. And when that war begins, you can count on Black Jacques Chirac to be leading the pretentious howls of international outrage at the latest act of "American neocon imperialist aggression."

Those words won't be serious either. But they will be believable, considering the source.