Conyers Finds The Fountain Of Youth

Isn't that the impression you get from this lede?

The left wing Democrat who will become chairman of the House Judiciary Committee if his party wins back Congress in November wants to hold full blown congressional hearings on whether the government should pay African Americans reparations for slavery.

If there are hundred and fifty year old ex-slaves still a-kicking, they've sure done a bang-up job of keeping their longevity a secret. Heck, I wouldn't begrudge them some compensation, just for having managed not to die. Only drawback is they'd be too old to really enjoy the windfall.

Of course, I'm assuming that means there are also enough ancient Confederates still drawing breath, and with sufficient liquidity, that they can be tapped to pay off their former "property." Or that Congressman Conyers has a flux capacitor or a wayback machine or access to Jimmy Neutron's time booth. Otherwise this is precisely the legislative robbery it looks like.

Conyers has been trying this shakedown every year for the past seventeen years. But his party is now loopy enough that he could get it through if it manages to regain control of the House. Which, of course, is why reports of the GOP's demise are greatly exaggerated - and moreso all the time.