Women
Married fifty years, a man took a look at his wife one day and said:
"Honey, fifty years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10" black & white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 75-year-old hag. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
The wife was a very reasonable woman. She told him to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blond who would actually be willing to sleep with a fat, sagging, wrinkly-assed old geezer with hair in all the wrong places and a non-functioning weapon, and she would make sure that he would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10" black & white TV....
~ ~ ~
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
"Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
The game warden sighed, said, "Have a nice day, ma'am," and left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
[H/T: Uncle]
"Honey, fifty years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10" black & white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blond. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 75-year-old hag. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
The wife was a very reasonable woman. She told him to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blond who would actually be willing to sleep with a fat, sagging, wrinkly-assed old geezer with hair in all the wrong places and a non-functioning weapon, and she would make sure that he would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10" black & white TV....
~ ~ ~
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
"Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
The game warden sighed, said, "Have a nice day, ma'am," and left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
[H/T: Uncle]
posted by JASmius at 9:02 AM
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