A Perjurer, But A Hot One

They say life is full of ironies, but it is rarely poetically just. The congressional testimony of Valerie Wilson, the CIA spook that wasn't, may be shaping up to walk that narrow path.

It seems that the story the former Ms. Plame tells of how her rat-bastard hubby, "Yellowcake Joe" Wilson, got sent on his fact-skewing junket to Niger before the invasion of Iraq is not the same version she told the Senate Intelligence Committee three years ago:

REPRESENTATIVE [STEPHEN] LYNCH [D-MA]: Now, I want to ask you, the uggestion that you were involved in sending your husband seemed to drive the leaks in an effort to discount his credibility. I want to ask you now under oath: Did you make the decision to send Ambassador Wilson to Niger?

MRS. WILSON: No. I did not recommend him, I did not suggest him, there was no nepotism involved - I didn't have the authority.

Lynch is running interference for Val like Walter Jones pancaking defensive ends for Shaun Alexander - or, at least, he's trying to, here by garishly overstating her involvement. Nobody ever said that she "made the decision to send" her Bush-hating zealot of a spouse anywhere. As to not recommending him, well....let's cover her revised edition:

In February of 2002, a young junior officer who worked for me - came to me very upset. She had just received a telephone call on her desk from someone - I don't know who - in the office of the Vice President asking about this report of this alleged sale of yellow cake uranium from Niger to Iraq. She came to me, and as she was telling me this - what had just happened, someone passed by - another officer heard this. He knew that Joe had already - my husband - had already gone on some CIA mission previously to deal with other nuclear matters. And he suggested, "Well why don't we send Joe?"

"Oh, no, I didn't suggest Joe for the Niger mission! It was some guy's friend's cousin's little brother's aunt twice removed. Can't remember her name, haven't seen her since, don't even remember what she looks like, but I remember her recommending Joe like it was yesterday!"

Please. My twelve-year-old son's excuses sound more cogent than that. And I stopped listening to them a long time ago. Here's a relevant excerpt from the Senate Intelligence Committee report:

Some CPD officials could not recall how the office decided to contact the former ambassador, however, interviews and documents provided to the Committee indicate that his wife, a CPD employee, suggested his name for the trip. The CPD reports officer told Committee staff that the former ambassador's wife "offered up his name" and a memorandum to the Deputy Chief of the CPD on February 12, 2002, from the former ambassador's wife says, "my husband has good relations with the PM [prime minister] and the former Minister of Mines (not to mention lots of French contacts), both of whom could possibly shed light on this sort of activity." [emphases added]

Hmmm. That's very interesting. It would seem that either Mrs. Wilson lied to Congress three years ago or she lied to Congress last Friday. That is the clearly implied conclusion being drawn by Senate Intelligence Committee ranking Republican Christopher Bond:

“Friday was the first time we have ever heard that story,” Senator Bond said in a statement to National Review Sunday evening. “Obviously if we had, we would have included it in the report. If Ms. Wilson’s memory of events has improved and she would now like to change her testimony, I’m sure the committee staff would be happy to re-interview her.”

Gotta love that gentlemanly Missourah sarcasm. Looks like Val's trying to degrade, frantically, her memory of events now that her party is in power and there is partisan hay to be made on the national stage.

BTW, Mrs. Wilson's shift to a "my dog ate my homework - really, I swear!" testimonial strategy could run her afoul of both pejury and the False Statements Act - which accounted for three of the four charges on which none other than Lewis "Scooter" Libby was convicted last month. Justice couldn't get any sweeter than that, other than if "Yellowcake Joe" were thrown in the hoosegow as well and started receiving daily conjugal visits from the 6'9", 328-lb con who's always complaining about his menstrual cramps.

In theory, anyway. In practice, Valerie Wilson will probably do a Playboy pictorial spread before the year is out. Totally "under cover," of course.

Pity Libby will be too busy coercively servicing Rocco the Stud Buffalo to see it.