Maryland's Wimpy Sex Ed Curriculum
Geez, what a bunch of prudes.
Mark Noonon over at Blogs for Bush brings our attention to this exercise in Victorianism:
Bethesda Chevy-Chase High School in Bethesda, Seneca Valley High School in Germantown and Springbrook High School in Silver Spring will take part in the high school course in which 10th-graders will be shown how to put condoms on cucumbers.
See what I mean? What has sex to do with cucumbers (at least for the male students, who would be more likely to opt for celery stalks)? Why don't they have the kids put condoms on their own exposed genitalia in class? Think of the synergy with instruction in fellatio and manual stimulation techniques.
If the schools want to use cucumbers, they should save them for home ec.
Martin Luther King Middle School in Germantown, Tilden Middle School in Rockville and White Oak Middle School in Silver Spring will participate in the middle school curriculum in which eighth-graders will learn that homosexual couples are the newest American family.
Too confusing. Do they mean that all homosexual couples are in one big family? Or that each homosexual couple is a family unit? This distinction is important because the former would reinforce a lot of negative stereotypes about homosexuals, although the visuals would not lack for twitching, writhing entertainment value, in a "dog humping your leg" sort of way.
In any case, it doesn't go nearly far enough, on at least two different counts.
One, the idea that it takes two of anybody to make a family is needlessly restrictive. And it ought to be an insult to homosexuals to suggest that they need committed relationships in order for their sexual predilictions to be accorded public respect. Although once you get beyond two, you're back to the "all homosexuals are one big family" problem.
Two, it isn't enough that homosexual couples be included in the definition of family; that definition should be re-written to mean only homosexual couples. As an online correspondent of mine is endlessly advocating, heterosexuality has been nothing but trouble for humanity down through history, and with the population explosion still, well, exploding, it is imperative that our children be reprogrammed to pair off, boys with boys and girls with girls, to abandon the intergender intermixing of the past, and burn with lust for one another, free of the fear and scourge of unwanted pregnancies, with only AIDS and rampant STDs to worry about henceforth and from now on.
School system officials have noted that some schools were unenthusiastic about testing the new curriculum, which also will teach students to "develop" a sexual identity and that gender identity is "a person's internal sense of knowing whether he or she is male or female."
Why the ambiguity? Why leave any doubt? Make it mandatory that boys develop a female sexual identity and vice versa. Require that boys date only other boys and girls date only other girls. Have the class practice same-sex coupling in the classroom. Make seducing their parents and younger siblings their homework assignment. Give real meaning to the expression "Who's your daddy?"
They might want to save cross-dressing and sex-change surgery for the advanced class, where they could charge an "activities" fee in order to not exceed the school's relevant budget allotment.
As for pulling down one's pants to count to eleven or unhooking one's bra to count to twelve (the archaic former outward manifestations of developing sexual identity), that should be put in math class where it belongs. At least until the timid educrats get "with it" and make birthday suits the new school uniform.
Advocates of this milquetoast program try to appear avante garde:
[Teachthefacts.org] and other curriculum supporters say the new course introduces information about homosexuality that students will find out regardless of whether they are taught about it. They have said morality has no place in the debate.
Heh. They're not fooling me. If they were serious about sex education, the boys would have performance quotas for number of ejaculations and amount of semen excreted, girls would have targets for number of pregnancies started and terminated (with the actual aborted fetuses mounted in a diarama, like a grade school entomology project), and both would be graded on foreplay, number of positions (with extra credit for acrobatics), and variety of combinations. The final exam would be a class orgy, with the curve being set on copulative endurance.
If these Maryland school districts are not willing to "go all the way," then maybe they shouldn't "go" at all.
After all, better to remain chaste than be "all dressed up and no place to go."
Mark Noonon over at Blogs for Bush brings our attention to this exercise in Victorianism:
Bethesda Chevy-Chase High School in Bethesda, Seneca Valley High School in Germantown and Springbrook High School in Silver Spring will take part in the high school course in which 10th-graders will be shown how to put condoms on cucumbers.
See what I mean? What has sex to do with cucumbers (at least for the male students, who would be more likely to opt for celery stalks)? Why don't they have the kids put condoms on their own exposed genitalia in class? Think of the synergy with instruction in fellatio and manual stimulation techniques.
If the schools want to use cucumbers, they should save them for home ec.
Martin Luther King Middle School in Germantown, Tilden Middle School in Rockville and White Oak Middle School in Silver Spring will participate in the middle school curriculum in which eighth-graders will learn that homosexual couples are the newest American family.
Too confusing. Do they mean that all homosexual couples are in one big family? Or that each homosexual couple is a family unit? This distinction is important because the former would reinforce a lot of negative stereotypes about homosexuals, although the visuals would not lack for twitching, writhing entertainment value, in a "dog humping your leg" sort of way.
In any case, it doesn't go nearly far enough, on at least two different counts.
One, the idea that it takes two of anybody to make a family is needlessly restrictive. And it ought to be an insult to homosexuals to suggest that they need committed relationships in order for their sexual predilictions to be accorded public respect. Although once you get beyond two, you're back to the "all homosexuals are one big family" problem.
Two, it isn't enough that homosexual couples be included in the definition of family; that definition should be re-written to mean only homosexual couples. As an online correspondent of mine is endlessly advocating, heterosexuality has been nothing but trouble for humanity down through history, and with the population explosion still, well, exploding, it is imperative that our children be reprogrammed to pair off, boys with boys and girls with girls, to abandon the intergender intermixing of the past, and burn with lust for one another, free of the fear and scourge of unwanted pregnancies, with only AIDS and rampant STDs to worry about henceforth and from now on.
School system officials have noted that some schools were unenthusiastic about testing the new curriculum, which also will teach students to "develop" a sexual identity and that gender identity is "a person's internal sense of knowing whether he or she is male or female."
Why the ambiguity? Why leave any doubt? Make it mandatory that boys develop a female sexual identity and vice versa. Require that boys date only other boys and girls date only other girls. Have the class practice same-sex coupling in the classroom. Make seducing their parents and younger siblings their homework assignment. Give real meaning to the expression "Who's your daddy?"
They might want to save cross-dressing and sex-change surgery for the advanced class, where they could charge an "activities" fee in order to not exceed the school's relevant budget allotment.
As for pulling down one's pants to count to eleven or unhooking one's bra to count to twelve (the archaic former outward manifestations of developing sexual identity), that should be put in math class where it belongs. At least until the timid educrats get "with it" and make birthday suits the new school uniform.
Advocates of this milquetoast program try to appear avante garde:
[Teachthefacts.org] and other curriculum supporters say the new course introduces information about homosexuality that students will find out regardless of whether they are taught about it. They have said morality has no place in the debate.
Heh. They're not fooling me. If they were serious about sex education, the boys would have performance quotas for number of ejaculations and amount of semen excreted, girls would have targets for number of pregnancies started and terminated (with the actual aborted fetuses mounted in a diarama, like a grade school entomology project), and both would be graded on foreplay, number of positions (with extra credit for acrobatics), and variety of combinations. The final exam would be a class orgy, with the curve being set on copulative endurance.
If these Maryland school districts are not willing to "go all the way," then maybe they shouldn't "go" at all.
After all, better to remain chaste than be "all dressed up and no place to go."
posted by JASmius at 3:26 PM
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