She's No Nan Bacco
....but she is the next president of the United States.
Hillary Clinton, that is. Or Hillary Rodham Clinton. Or Hillary Rodham. I have a theory that the instant George Allen concedes defeat on Election Night two and a half years from now, Hillary will announce her immediate divorce from Sick Willie and we'll never hear the surname "Clinton" again.
This isn't exactly a recent concession on my part. I've thought a Hillary presidency was inevitable since the Clintons left the White House in 2001. I still believe that if the Democrats had nominated her in 2004 she'd have made George W. Bush a one-termer, for no other reason than what the 1990s ought to have indellibly taught all of us: the Clintons always win. They're the kiss of death for everybody else on whose behalf they campaign, but when they're on the ballot they are always and forever golden. Reason and rationality can't explain it, because reason and rationality have nothing to do with it. It's like a hex or a spell. Unlike anybody else in their party, Bill & Hillary are able to put over baldfaced lies. They can serve you chicken bleep and convince you that it's chicken salad and get you to ask for a second helping AND have you beseeching them for the recipe. They're that good.
Think of it this way: if Bill sold his soul to the devil for this ability, just who do you think the devil is?
Where the devil is is equally unambiguous: to the right of the Bushies on illegal immigration "again:
And please, let's not leave out the famous Clintonian chutzpah:
But she'll be able to sell it. That much is guaranteed. Audacity to these two is like breathing. First you're outraged by it, then you're frustrated, then resigned. And ultimately you just have to marvel at how they get away with things nobody else would ever dream of trying.
Look at the intended chaser:
The "great and powerful Oz" behind the loosest, most corrupt, outright criminal, and even traitorous administration in American history being the "restorer of discipline" as the nation's stern matriarch. Boy, that has all kinds of whimsical connotations, doesn't it? Like the confiscation of most of our "allowances," and extra "chores," and "grounding" all Republicans for the duration. Which is to say permanently.
It's easy for those of us who've never fallen under the Clinton hypnosis to lampoon, but we're a small minority. The rest of the country will buy into it, because they always bought into every Clinton scam, angle, and excuse - at least after 1994 when the Clintons rediscovered the wisdom of cloaking every action under a suffocating straitjacket of deceit.
That shystery - or "the vast left-wing conspiracy," if you will - appears to be alive and well, if this Markos Moulitsas rant is any indication. Which is not to say that the DailyKos proprietor isn't necessarily insincere in his mauling of Mrs. Clinton; he may really mean what he wrote, in which case he's simply doing her nefarious bidding unwittingly. Certainly his charge that Bill Clinton wrecked the Democrat party is spot-on. I rather liken it to a vampire sucking a body completely dry and then discarding the shriveled corpse down an abandoned mine shaft. That's as opposed to his wife, who simply turns people to stone with a single sidelong glance.
But if you're the Clinton machine, and you're looking to reprise your "Bolshevik pretending to be a centrist" masquerade, you can't be unhappy at one of the loudest voices of the domestic fifth column ripping the boss lady from perineum to stretch marks. That's selling her to "red" state America without her having to wag her forked tongue.
I certainly don't want to leave corruption out of the Clinton equation - you know, the kind that liberals alternately pooh-pooh and celebrate because it comes from one of their icons:
With the Clintons, crooks and perverts and child molesters as their hangers-on isn't "improbable," it's inevitable. One would think that voters would begin to recognize that long-established tendency and make the connection, but it's been fourteen years and it hasn't happened yet.
Cap'n Ed pointed out some other greasy tentacles of recent vintage:
This is the very sort of corruption that her fellow Donks hypocritically rail against when the targets are Republicans. But you never hear anybody - on either side of the aisle - bring up Mrs. Clinton in that context, do ya? And we all know why, too: because the Clintons are above the law. Always have been, always will be.
In the final analysis, their criminality is irrelevant, as is their congenital dishonesty and ideological extremism. What the Clintons are is winners. By hook, crook, and any other means necessary, nothing stops them from grabbing the power they seek. And for Hillary, who had to put up with Bill's BS for all those years, 2008 is the payoff of a lifetime. She's going to be president even if she loses. She'll sue, like Gore did. She'll perpetrate a full-blown constitutional crisis (like Gore almost did). If that doesn't work she'll lead a coup 'de tat that overthrows the U.S. government and installs a dictatorship (think Hugo Chavez). But she WILL be the next (and perhaps last for a very long time) president of the United States.
Except all that drama won't be necessary. She'll fool enough people - probably with John McCain's third-party "independent" help - to slither her way into office.
And then the REAL reign of terror will begin.
Hillary Clinton, that is. Or Hillary Rodham Clinton. Or Hillary Rodham. I have a theory that the instant George Allen concedes defeat on Election Night two and a half years from now, Hillary will announce her immediate divorce from Sick Willie and we'll never hear the surname "Clinton" again.
This isn't exactly a recent concession on my part. I've thought a Hillary presidency was inevitable since the Clintons left the White House in 2001. I still believe that if the Democrats had nominated her in 2004 she'd have made George W. Bush a one-termer, for no other reason than what the 1990s ought to have indellibly taught all of us: the Clintons always win. They're the kiss of death for everybody else on whose behalf they campaign, but when they're on the ballot they are always and forever golden. Reason and rationality can't explain it, because reason and rationality have nothing to do with it. It's like a hex or a spell. Unlike anybody else in their party, Bill & Hillary are able to put over baldfaced lies. They can serve you chicken bleep and convince you that it's chicken salad and get you to ask for a second helping AND have you beseeching them for the recipe. They're that good.
Think of it this way: if Bill sold his soul to the devil for this ability, just who do you think the devil is?
Where the devil is is equally unambiguous: to the right of the Bushies on illegal immigration "again:
Ah, so very, very Clintonesque. "Responding to polls"; "a wall in certain areas..."; pandering and equivocation and leaving herself an escape hatch, all in the service of making herself look tough on an anti-GOP wedge issue without really meaning any of it. Man, it's like they never left.Responding to polls showing that a strong majority of Americans support building a wall across the U.S.-Mexican border, 2008 presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton announced Saturday that she backs a border wall plan that would include both physical barriers and a "smart fence."
"A physical structure is obviously important," Mrs. Clinton told the New York Daily News. "A wall in certain areas would be appropriate."
The News said she also supported deploying a high-tech "smart fence" that could spot people approaching from 200 or 300 yards. Clinton said the deployment of surveillance drones and infrared cameras should be considered as well.
And please, let's not leave out the famous Clintonian chutzpah:
When she hits the presidential campaign trail next year, 2008 White House hopeful Hillary Clinton is planning to sell herself to the nation as a common sense, iron-willed, family values candidate."Iron-willed" I'll buy, but "common sense"? The woman who stubbornly tried to foist nationalization of the entire health care sector on a public that manifestly did not want it? (Kind of like the way the Bush Administration is trying to force amnesty for illegal aliens down our throats, come to think of it....) The "family values candidate"? That's like Patrick Kennedy running on a temperance platform. It'll guarantee Gary Aldrich another royalties windfall. The androgyne queen is only as female as she has to be; once safely ensconsed back in the White House the bulldyke kept under wraps for all these years will reemerge with a vengeance.
So says Newsweek's Howard Fineman, who says he uncovered the daring strategy during a recent conversation with longtime Clinton advisor James Carville.
But she'll be able to sell it. That much is guaranteed. Audacity to these two is like breathing. First you're outraged by it, then you're frustrated, then resigned. And ultimately you just have to marvel at how they get away with things nobody else would ever dream of trying.
Look at the intended chaser:
"After eight years of what she will call the perhaps worthy but disastrously administered dreams of George Bush, it’s time to restore some discipline," says Fineman, adding:
"Think of the iron-willed mom in Malcolm in the Middle."
The "great and powerful Oz" behind the loosest, most corrupt, outright criminal, and even traitorous administration in American history being the "restorer of discipline" as the nation's stern matriarch. Boy, that has all kinds of whimsical connotations, doesn't it? Like the confiscation of most of our "allowances," and extra "chores," and "grounding" all Republicans for the duration. Which is to say permanently.
It's easy for those of us who've never fallen under the Clinton hypnosis to lampoon, but we're a small minority. The rest of the country will buy into it, because they always bought into every Clinton scam, angle, and excuse - at least after 1994 when the Clintons rediscovered the wisdom of cloaking every action under a suffocating straitjacket of deceit.
That shystery - or "the vast left-wing conspiracy," if you will - appears to be alive and well, if this Markos Moulitsas rant is any indication. Which is not to say that the DailyKos proprietor isn't necessarily insincere in his mauling of Mrs. Clinton; he may really mean what he wrote, in which case he's simply doing her nefarious bidding unwittingly. Certainly his charge that Bill Clinton wrecked the Democrat party is spot-on. I rather liken it to a vampire sucking a body completely dry and then discarding the shriveled corpse down an abandoned mine shaft. That's as opposed to his wife, who simply turns people to stone with a single sidelong glance.
But if you're the Clinton machine, and you're looking to reprise your "Bolshevik pretending to be a centrist" masquerade, you can't be unhappy at one of the loudest voices of the domestic fifth column ripping the boss lady from perineum to stretch marks. That's selling her to "red" state America without her having to wag her forked tongue.
I certainly don't want to leave corruption out of the Clinton equation - you know, the kind that liberals alternately pooh-pooh and celebrate because it comes from one of their icons:
John R. Burgess makes for an improbable courtier of presidents, or of a senator who might become one.
A disbarred New York lawyer with a criminal record for attempted larceny and patronizing a 16-year-old prostitute, Mr. Burgess owns International Profit Associates, a management consulting company in Illinois.
Federal authorities are pressing a sexual harassment suit against the company on behalf of 113 former female employees.
The Illinois attorney general is investigating accusations of deceptive marketing tactics, officials say, and the company has been the subject of 470 complaints to the Better Business Bureau across the nation in the past three years. ...
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has collected more than $150,000 in contributions from executives of International Profit Associates, some as recently as September, and spoke at a company event in 2004. As a group, company officials and their spouses are one of the largest sources of contributions to Mrs. Clinton's re-election campaign.
With the Clintons, crooks and perverts and child molesters as their hangers-on isn't "improbable," it's inevitable. One would think that voters would begin to recognize that long-established tendency and make the connection, but it's been fourteen years and it hasn't happened yet.
Cap'n Ed pointed out some other greasy tentacles of recent vintage:
It seems that Hillary and shady financial backers attract each other. Last Sunday we noted the relationship between the Clintons and billionaire Ronald Burkle, who put Bill Clinton on the payroll in a position that could net the Clintons millions of dollars for almost no effort whatsoever. In March, the New York Sun reported on Hillary's connections to South Korean real-estate financier Hyung Young "Daniel" Lee, who resigned his post as ambassador after his control of a political slush fund came to light.
This is the very sort of corruption that her fellow Donks hypocritically rail against when the targets are Republicans. But you never hear anybody - on either side of the aisle - bring up Mrs. Clinton in that context, do ya? And we all know why, too: because the Clintons are above the law. Always have been, always will be.
In the final analysis, their criminality is irrelevant, as is their congenital dishonesty and ideological extremism. What the Clintons are is winners. By hook, crook, and any other means necessary, nothing stops them from grabbing the power they seek. And for Hillary, who had to put up with Bill's BS for all those years, 2008 is the payoff of a lifetime. She's going to be president even if she loses. She'll sue, like Gore did. She'll perpetrate a full-blown constitutional crisis (like Gore almost did). If that doesn't work she'll lead a coup 'de tat that overthrows the U.S. government and installs a dictatorship (think Hugo Chavez). But she WILL be the next (and perhaps last for a very long time) president of the United States.
Except all that drama won't be necessary. She'll fool enough people - probably with John McCain's third-party "independent" help - to slither her way into office.
And then the REAL reign of terror will begin.
posted by JASmius at 3:12 PM
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