An Alternative Big Ten

Say, have you noticed that the people who want to get rid of public Ten Commandments displays are the ones who never keep most of the Commandments in the first place?

Hard to keep your conscience anesthetized if you're reminded of your sins everywhere you go.

Maybe if a miracle is handed down and the God-haters don't get what they want from Olympus, they can promulgate their own version of the "Big Ten":

1) Thou shalt have no god.

2) Thou shalt not invoke or display the name of God.

3) Sabbath day? What Sabbath day? Go forth and playest an extra eighteen holes.

4) Honor thy fathers. Or thy mothers. Or thy uncle, second cousin, and pet goat. Whatever twirleth your swizzlestaff. Unless thou screwest up, in which case thou shalt disregard the commandment I have given thee.

5) Thou shalt not kill non-Republicans.

6) Thou shalt commit adultery so much that thou rememberest not what the word meaneth, at least until thine blood returnest to thine brain.

7) Thou shalt steal, but only if thou canst frame a conservative for the act. Otherwise thou wilt shrug and sayeth, "Everybody does it."

8) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor using fake documents.

9) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, because thou shalt already be having intimate knowledge of her, and her husband as well, if he is devout.

10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods, but willst electeth representatives who wilt confiscate them on thine behalf.

I'd have no objection to putting up their Ten versus our Ten in every courthouse and government building in the country.

Competition is a wonderful thing - especially when it is the equivalent of sport fishing with power saws.