2008 Democrat National Convention Schedule
7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations.
7:30 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:30 - 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship: Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15 - 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding: Barney Frank, presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally: Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon. [Ed note: the Iranians will have long since executed Saddam by this time]
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech: "The Proper Etiquette for Surrender" former French President Jacques Chirac.
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden Kidney Transplant Fund.
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay: Sean Penn.
9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military: A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather receives "Truth in Broadcasting" award, presented by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 P.M. Presentation: "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers", by Howard Dean.
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton for President by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11:05 P.M. Senator Obama [or Webb] nominated for VP.
11:15 P.M. "Our Troops are War Criminals", presented by John Kerry.
11:30 P.M Coronation of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
12:00 AM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home
[Ed note: The thing is, the above is no joke. Count on the proceedings unfolding pretty much exactly that way - only with a lot more emphasis on the coronation. "What about triangulation?" you may be asking. Well, I look at it this way: if they could run honestly, as who and what they really are, in 2006 and win big, why would they have any reason to think they need to go back under cloak in 2008?]
[h/t: Uncle]
7:15 P.M. Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations.
7:30 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:30 - 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship: Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15 - 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding: Barney Frank, presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally: Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon. [Ed note: the Iranians will have long since executed Saddam by this time]
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech: "The Proper Etiquette for Surrender" former French President Jacques Chirac.
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden Kidney Transplant Fund.
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay: Sean Penn.
9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military: A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather receives "Truth in Broadcasting" award, presented by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 P.M. Presentation: "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers", by Howard Dean.
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton for President by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11:05 P.M. Senator Obama [or Webb] nominated for VP.
11:15 P.M. "Our Troops are War Criminals", presented by John Kerry.
11:30 P.M Coronation of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
12:00 AM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home
[Ed note: The thing is, the above is no joke. Count on the proceedings unfolding pretty much exactly that way - only with a lot more emphasis on the coronation. "What about triangulation?" you may be asking. Well, I look at it this way: if they could run honestly, as who and what they really are, in 2006 and win big, why would they have any reason to think they need to go back under cloak in 2008?]
[h/t: Uncle]
posted by JASmius at 3:21 PM
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